somebody intervene. please. February 22, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : language & literature, rants & raves, wish list , 2 commentsMy name is Abby, and I have a problem: I’m going broke on books I don’t have time to read.
The main problem is the fact that there are two bookstores and a library between my apartment and my school. If it were just a library, there wouldn’t be a problem - libraries are free, after all, and my library card is perfectly good. The thing is, though, that the library is across the street from three great restaurants, and my walk home from school hovers right around lunchtime every day. So instead of going broke on lunch in restaurants every day, I alter my route and therefore walk by Borders or Barnes & Noble (or both, if I’m blessed/cursed by fate). I have to say it is taking every iota of willpower I can muster to keep me from going in there more than once a week, and I buy books every time.
Here’s the thing. I’d pack myself a bag lunch and just go to the library, but that’s not how I read. I’m a college student. I rarely get all of my required reading done, unless I’m “speed reading” (a mostly-useless endeavor which for me consists of idly turning pages while on the phone), in which case there is little to no comprehension of the material involved. Needless to say, I don’t exactly do a lot of reading for pleasure unless I’m on a break from school, and given my penchant for taking summer classes those times are rare these days.
So if I stopped at the library on my way home, it’d be pretty disastrous. I’d check out book after book, bring them home, set them on my counter and ignore them for weeks. A year or so ago this wouldn’t have been a problem, since I had a convenient family member who could theoretically have made fines disappear (why did I never take advantage of that?!). Fortunately for her and unfortunately for me, she managed to find herself an awesome new job, leaving me high and dry in library-land. So, if I chose that route home, I would be going broke on fillo wrapped brie parcels and library fines, as opposed to just tasty lunchtime treats.
another ten-second update February 20, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : (pointless) humor, ten-second updates , 2 commentsBarack Obama wanted me to have some cupcakes.
No matter your political affiliation, you just might find yourself giggling about this, or at least feeling a little warm in the heart?
-@
ten-second update
Posted by Abby T in : (pointless) humor, ten-second updates , add a commentHop on over to Dave Barry’s most recent blog post and enter to win some truly useless prizes.
It’s no coincidence that all my good blog fodder comes from him lately…
-@
you probably thought i was kidding
Posted by Abby T in : (pointless) humor, fun with google, the idiot box, ye olde sporte , 1 commentLadies and gentlemen, I did it.
I just submitted the form to register for the upcoming tryouts for Rockstar Curling. The registration form asked me about things like my previous athletic achievements and why I think I could be a great Rockstar Curler (Answers: I played a year of JV hockey in high school, and I think curling is underappreciated as a ridiculous-looking sport and I want to bring national attention to its merits, respectively, tongue planted firmly in cheek). I also may or may not have an RSS subscription to the Rockstar Curling blog.
I was mostly kidding when I filled out the form, but at the same time there’s definitely a part of me that thinks it would be totally sweet to go to Lake Placid and learn to curl for free and become an obscure, useless television star.
In other news, I’m irrationally amused by Google search terms. Here are the two winners of today so far.
-“is Ryan Seacrest vapid?”
Even though this one’s a plant by my sister, I still think it is search-term gold. It’s an excellent question and a thoroughly comedic sentence. The answer, my friends, is a resounding “yes”.
-“lobsters having fun”
I’m relieved that someone out there is concerned about whether or not lobsters have fun. The first Google result defines “fun” in a way I wasn’t quite expecting, but the first Google image result is even better:
Anybody see any lobsters in this photo?
-@
oh my. February 19, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : the idiot box , 2 commentsNot to pander to the Google crawlers or anything, but Ryan Seacrest got TWO batches of brownie points for tonight’s American Idol episode. First he made fun of Simon’s hair, and then he snubbed the grumpy Brit in his “thank all the judges!” routine.
Classic.
He’s not as vapid as I thought, I guess.
-@
let me check the Googles. February 18, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : (pointless) humor, fun with google, rants & raves , 1 commentMy favorite thing about checking out the “Blog Stats” area of my dashboard is seeing what search terms brought people over here. So, in honor of my 683rd pageview, here are some lists of things people have Googled to get to my blog, in various orders according to various criteria.
Most Searched
Coming in first is the phrase “you are my brother forever” with a whopping fifteen hits. This is not at all surprising. When I was writing the series of entries about American Idol’s Renaldo Lapuz I figured it contained about a zillion buzzwords that would bring traffic to the post. Sort of a cheap trick, but hey, it worked, and it was mostly unintentional.
This key word beats the runner up on my list by 11 hits. There really aren’t any others worth mentioning in this category, so I’ll move on to…
The “What Were They Thinking?” Searches
Ladies and gentlemen, these are pretty good. We’ll start off with my favorite of the Weird Search Terms: “can you get sick eating dead lobster”. One soul searched this and scrolled through seven other results to get to me. What gets me about it is this: this person is Googling the effects of eating dead lobster as if he or she were accustomed to an alternative. That alternative, I can only imagine, is eating… live lobster? I personally have a thing about eating food that remotely resembles what it looked like while alive, but I’m fairly confident I’m not the only one who would think twice about eating a live lobster.
From way out in left field comes “make lobster on keyboard decisions”. I’d go on about this but I really can’t for the life of me figure out what it means. And here’s the interesting thing: my blog doesn’t show up in the first 20 pages of Google results for those terms. Somebody felt strongly enough about these key words to go through more than 200 results to find me. That’s dedication, whoever you are. That’s the type of person I like to have hanging around here. Come back any time, you, who are so concerned about making lobster on keyboard decisions!
Other choice items from this category are “underwater theme dental”, “recipe bacon prune loaf”, “tie clip, lobster” and “one off tractor”.
Hopefully the next 683 (read, arbitrary number, until I feel like doing this again) pageviews will provide me with more delightfully odd, delectably random search terms. Until then, I recommend that nobody make any lobster on keyboard decisions until we can get this issue solved.
-@
please continue to hold. February 17, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : ten-second updates , 1 comment
A post is brewin’ in them-thar hills. Once I’m out of rehearsal.
-@
[update: Listen to this in a background window while you stare at this photo. Do this until I get around to updating again, say around 6 tonight.]
my new calling. February 12, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : (pointless) humor, rants & raves, ye olde sporte , 2 commentsI’m going to try out for Rockstar Curling.
From the article:
The show would involve U.S.-wide tryouts starting this year, open to anyone 18 or older. A panel of coaches will select two teams – five men and five women – to train for six months, all expenses paid, at Lake Placid, N.Y.
They would train eight hours a day under professional coaches before going to regional playdowns for the 2010 U.S. Olympic trials in February 2009.
If they win, they’re off to the Vancouver Olympics, unlikely as that may seem.
From TheStar.com, found via Dave Barry’s blog.
-@
if wishes were fishes, beggars would ride
Posted by Abby T in : kitchen adventures, live theatre, music & concerts , 1 commentI wish I weren’t stage managing this quarter. I’m having fun with the Tattoo Girl process, and I’m looking forward to getting started on the Bacchae, but I miss my evenings off.
If I still had my evenings off, instead of having chicken nuggets and hasty salads and hot pockets for dinner before running to rehearsal at 5:30, I would cook everything on the Eat Yet? blog. Everything. Their most recent recipe for warming winter squash looks like just the thing I need to pull me out of my “Is it really snowing AGAIN?!?!??” funk.
I think I will be attempting their red velvet cupcakes on Thursday, to bring to rehearsal for Valentine’s Day. There is a scene in Tattoo Girl in which something or other is described as a “red velvet map”. Since we blocked that scene we’ve all been craving red velvet cake. It’s time to satisfy the craving.
In other news, I’m still smarting over Ingrid Michaelson’s having been denied even a Grammy nomination. There must be some reason for it that I’m missing. Maybe her album came out in the wrong month. Maybe it’s just deep magic from the dawn of time. Whatever the reason, I’m still bummed about it.
-@
thoughts on the grammy awards February 10, 2008
Posted by Abby T in : music & concerts , add a commentBeyonce + Tina Turner + Rollin’ on the River = the best duet I could have asked for.
I’m bummed that Amy Winehouse didn’t end up making it to the U.S. for the show. Not only would I have liked to see her perform live (as opposed to live via satellite), but it also would have been cool to see her accept an award. I would’ve liked that very much.
I haven’t been following the Grammy saga - I just found them channel flipping. But I sure hope Ingrid Michaelson’s up for something. I sure do love Ingrid Michaelson.
Also, a small part of my mind is seriously considering a transfer to some university in Hawaii. I am perfectly willing to trade the prestige of my Northwestern degree for a frostbite-free existence. Not sure how the parental units might feel about that one, but… I’m sure it’d be cheaper! That’s something, right?
Also, back to the Grammys, they just turned the “stop talking, asshat” music on for Kanye West, and he flat-out told them to turn it off.
And they did.
-@
[update: The Grammy Awards hereby win the Abby Award for best random duet combinations. Alicia Keys and John Mayer just rocked my apartment down to the ground. And Vince Gill just called Kanye out on his arrogant crap during his acceptance speech. These awards are awesome. I'm so pleasantly surprised!]